so i was thinking of the next rap to do since i really enjoyed the last one and shit, man, seems like you did too?

so i was watching my most recent obsession and it became pretty obvious

a gravity falls rap 

 

duh

so here the fuck it is

it’s a bit wonky but i’m proud, dammit

of myself

 also this track is family friendly apparently how did that happen

i might put together a download link eventually. maybe a mixtape!?!?!

 lyrics under the cut


sup, say things are looking a bit weird in Oregon

not Portland and also not boring, Oregon
or eerie Indiana, nor twin peaks
nor the town x-files was set in, which escapes me
which, I may bring
up is the feeling you get when the tip of your tongue
switches itself around
and you speak the wrong way
presuque ve at the present time but perhaps not during the present day
this universe is strange but the strangeness is arranged equivalently or is it not spaced out at all
could this place be a break in the wall separating fact from reality
woah, there goes gravity falls
up in gravity falls when it wants to
things will go intangible you can put your hand through
them and touch the wax figures who’s eyes are rolling back in their heads
saying “guess what?
if you don’t trust anyone here then you’re probably on the right track since, boy”

word has it that fact is not fact here
inside the town where up’s down and nothing is
the same as what you thought
good luck living a life around here 
it’s obvious that gravity makes things fall
but here it might not

and I recall
if the twin pines went back to the future and came back with one
then they would have their own mall
shoulda called Saul, county jail is so cold
holding children in a cell and they’re not even thirteen years old yet
seriously
and seers seeing evangelical greetings they greet with singing yodeling over and over
their moderate bandwith without internet spread out
don’t get out
Get in
even if you’re a flapjack disguised as Jason shwartzman
jose chung hung up the phone
called the wrong number alone
but his aim is getting better
a joke given to a couple to get married but
was that actually hilarious
that remains to be determined
by toby determined to be
a determining force in this town
where a child can solve the cases the police who patrol around
can’t even manage
but they have an advantage
after all clue finding is found
to be far simpler when you’re so very close to the ground
come on

 
word has it that fact is not fact here
inside this town where up’s down and nothing is
the same as what you thought
good luck living a life around here
it’s obvious that gravity makes things fall
but here it might not


a minor note here
we don’t serve miners here
but children are fine so long as they don’t dine
and dash,  disposable cameras with flash a plus
not a minus
long as y’all can find us
suffice to say that from front to end this reads differently as an omnibus
but really is there anything you can actually trust?

probably not 
and incidentally I also look mostly identical to alex Hirsch (that’s weird)
mostly the difference is our age, college, and beard
which is to say, facial hair
so buyer beware you might be watching a product created
by an evil twin from a parallel dimension
he even has a goatee I mean really
not even making that up
what would I have to gain
from saying that us
we, grammatically speaking are
actual enemies
if we were than how do you explain
the things that my dreams said to me
like

word has it that the fact is not the fact here
inside this town where up’s down and nothing is
the same as what you thought
good luck living a life around here
it’s obvious that gravity makes things fall
but here it might not



note: i do in fact look almost identical to alex hirsch

this is him:

 


and that’s me, from a party where i was -extraordinarily drunk-

you be the judge?!!